What's in microwave popcorn?

From a website called Seasoned Advice:

“Some commercial kinds use a butter flavoring called diacetyl, which is very potent and likely effective if just sprayed on. It's in butter too, naturally, but also in a tiny enough amount not to turn the butter into hazmat (which an ounce of pure diacetyl would be). In the end, the chemical that makes butter taste like butter is instead used directly on the popcorn.”

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So, in the end, perhaps the best way to prepare popcorn is to air pop it, then melt butter and pour it on. No matter how artery-clogging butter might be, surely it can't compete with a big ole congealed blob of diacetyl.

Butter gets a bad rap. It may be hell for certain defined medical conditions, but for the population at large, it’s actually a health food in moderate amounts. Especially intriguing is this:

“The "war" against saturated fat was based on bad science.

It was never really proven that it caused any harm.

In fact, recent studies suggest that there is no association at all between saturated fat and cardiovascular disease.”

Wow! So, like dietary cholesterol, caffeine, ad infinitum, another example of “medical science” assuming that something scary was true, panicking the public, then doing a page-23 retraction a few years later. Imagine that: no one ever bothered to study the connection between saturated fat and cardiovascular disease!

I’m still not touching that popcorn.

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No. but in the spirit of challenging science, do light up a big ole stogie!

I’d rather eat the goddam stogie than microwave popcorn.

But to be more positive, my favorite way for popcorn? Glad you asked.

Use that air popper - great invention. Melt significant amounts of butter, and add a bit of bacon grease. Mix with the popped corn, along with seasonings: kosher salt and chipotle powder.

Yeah.

Don't know why that would be a problem. Bacon grease ("drippings," if "grease" offends) as a scant (~1:6, say) additive to butter (both animal-based saturated fats, so what the hell), adds a very light smoky flavor, and a bit of chipotle doubles down on that, also adding a cayenne-like spiciness.

Come on over and I'll fix you some. You'll rave about it and make it for all your friends. Probably won't even give me credit.

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I'll gladly give you credit. Just produce this amazing thing, please?

A little difficult, long-distance. But we’ll be home in May, and if you should drop by?

The popcorn pairs very well with smoked, 8-hour whole brisket, by the way.

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Mmmmmm. Do you offer delivery? A nice inky black Malbec with that, please.

No, but we can do pickup.

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Oh! You use that Russian delivery company, Pekup & Dropov?

... and our Director of Ethics and Honesty is U. Lyon Sack.

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I hate to ask, but is your legal team Dewey Cheatam & Howe?

The same! And not only them, but also around Harvard Square, our Head of Front Desk Security, Constance Noring!