My mum used to impart very important advice to me, which continued more or less from cradle to shackles. Here are some of the more delightful little gems.
Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet in the middle.
Never trust a man with a weak handshake.
A moustache is a sign of weakness.
Don't part your hair on the right -they'll think you're queer.
If a man has a daughter as a first child it means he's proved himself.
Never drink beer straight from the bottle/can. That's what peasants do.
I subsequently spent most of my life avoiding men with eyebrow alignment deficiencies, flinched at cold fish handshakes and secretly grew a moustache.