The etiquette of ghosting

  • That was a fun reading.


    I think ghosting is underrated. Technology means make interactions weird at times.

    For example, when I visit Italy and I hang out with people that maybe I hadn't seen in ages, follows a few days of intense exchanges to provide a sequel of what was discussed.

    Let's say I talked with them about where I was going to visit on the next days, so we keep exchanging whatsapps with pictures and impressions and opinions on what happened in my next day. But then they fade, and everyday real life trumps over virtual relationships.


    It is the natural thing to do because for me it takes quite a time to maintain distance relationships... you have to think about that person(s) constantly, select pictures to send, add an explanation, reply to their answers.

  • Good point, serafina . As 21st century Gypsies (everything but the colorfully painted caravan), we have long-time friends in multiple locations, and it is very time-consuming to remain in touch with friends from Australia to Arizona to Argentina. As I write this, I’m remembering that it has been ‘way too long since I’ve replied to an English friend.


    But true ghosting includes not just disappearing but a decision, an intent, to remove yourself from a relationship, usually because you’ve moved on or you want the other person completely out of your life. It’s generally an offensive action and considered more cowardly than actually telling the other person the truth.


    Today’s version of the World War II era breaking up via “Dear John” letter, or late 20th century weasely breaking up via email.

  • But true ghosting includes not just disappearing but a decision, an intent, to remove yourself from a relationship, usually because you’ve moved on or you want the other person completely out of your life. It’s generally an offensive action and considered more cowardly than actually telling the other person the truth.

    There was a point in that article you linked on the usual friend of a friend contacting you because they want something for free, and you do not have the time and/or the will to do so. The author suggested to politely declined with 'I am glad that X thinks I am great at this, but I have my hands sull right now. Sounds like a great idea and I wish you all the best in your endeavors'.

    I am usually guilty of providing long and detailed responses to complete strangers, who then will simply tell me that they have found out a friend of their grandma which can do it, so they are going with that option. Bummer!


    I have met a couple of acquaintances here in Argentina that because too sticky for my taste, and my attempt to keep distance miserably failed because the other people was not taking my polite 'I can't' as a 'no', forcing me to be a little direct (at which point, they got offended).

    I wasn't enjoying these people company and one of this person was inviting me to expensive places that served mediocre food, and kept ordering wine, talking out loud and becoming paranoid (people in the room were turning their heads toward out table, my guest said it was because they recognized her from somewhere because she thinks she is famous). Ewwwww!


    I have successfully ghosted now, but I am fearing a comeback.