US Customs - ignore risks at own peril

Quote from Semigoodlooking

I don't think there's a group outside the criminal class that I dislike more than border and customs agents. These are ordinary people with little actual power, but within their role they are absolute. I am not sure what goes on in their training that makes them become such assholes.

I have had some interesting times with these people in UK airports.

The discretionary part is what really puts me off because I have no idea of what could happen. If there was a detailed list of what can happen and what you can do, I would be happy.

For example, what was that limbo the journalist was kept in? He wasn’t detained so he couldn’t call a lawyer, yet he wasn’t free to go either.
What could have happened? Is there a judge at the airport to decide case by case?

Or you are deported immediately but can seek legal help from the outside? Or are you released paying a fine and given a few hours to sort your things and leave?

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I think that limbo he was in is an intentional loophole in the law that they would rather not have scrutinised.

Oh GlasgowJohn, I would have pissed in my pants anyway!

First of all, I don't know what weird rules there could be (or could be made up to put me in a bad spot). For example, in 2007 I was arriving at JFK and they decided to inspect my hand luggage. I had declared I had food with me (I think, I can't recall exactly) or anyway I hadn't crossed all 'NO' on the green entry card I was given on the plane.

So the lady started inspecting my luggage and finds two pandoros. She asked me what were those and I told her 'Traditional Italian xmas cakes' (it was Christmas time, btw!). They come in a cardboard box and she wanted to open it. I offered to help but she said 'hands off'. She just checked they were industrial made and the bag was airtight sealed and let me go.

But another time I was arriving in Boston with my husband to drive south to Florida and visit the East Coast. An Italian friend had offered to let us sleep at his place. Naturally we had asked how we could repay him. He asked for a couple of salamis and added 'Don't worry, last year we came home with a whole ham leg and nobody could care less'. So I had completely forgot about his salami. We had two big suitcases as it was a 40-day trip and we had been packing for two weeks, so we had forgotten about the treats for our friend.

Of course we arrive in Boston, pass immigration and CBP stopped us asking if we had anything to declare. We said no, but their dog said otherwise. They inspected my husband's bag and found the salami.

My husband was visibly shaken, but unlike me (the pant pisser) he started being upset because the officer started challenging him and calling him a liar and saying 'so you lied, you lied to my face.'

My husband replied he didn't know that it was not permitted (these were industrial salami, just not vacuum sealed) and the agent warned him there was a 200 USD fine or whatever. Now, my husband is a sweet guy, but don't touch his wallet... he started getting angry and became all red. He bit his tongue, though, and repeated profusely he was sorry, to take the salami, and that he wouldn't repeat the same mistake. Eventually the officer let us go, but he asked for my husband's passport and entered something in his system. Maybe a strike or a note of the inspection.