This report from Travel+Leisure today could top the lists of those on last week’s PIA flight out of Manchester:

A passenger severely delayed a Pakistan International Airlines flight from Manchester, England, last week after mistaking the emergency exit door for a bathroom.

The plane was on the runway at Manchester International Airport, bound for Islamabad, when “a passenger erroneously opened the emergency exit causing the emergency chute to activate,” an airline spokesperson told Gulf News. The flight was delayed for seven hours.

All passengers and their luggage had to be offloaded from the plane, according to standard safety procedure.

During an investigation following the incident, the passenger told police that she thought the emergency exit was the entrance to the bathroom. The doors were armed which meant that as soon as the woman opened the door, the emergency exit slide inflated.

The plane was supposed to take off at 9:20 p.m. on the evening of June 7, but it was unable to take off until approximately 5 a.m. the following morning. The plane took off the following morning with 38 fewer passengers, all of whom volunteered to go on a later flight. The reduced passenger load was because the aircraft has reduced evacuation capacity without one emergency slide.

On a flight from Turkey to Greece, we were horrified to smell smoke in the plane. None of the other passengers seemed concerned. Following the smoke down the aisle, we saw a man sitting cross-legged in the aisle, in front of the hibachi on which he was grilling shish kebabs. At least he shared with the passengers all around him.

Not a peep from the flight attendants.

They served “rats with wings” on a flight??? And, UK Man, you chose that option? I’m trying hard to imagine what choice you decided would be worse. Braised Cucarachas? Pickled Pigs’ Feet?

Eeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuwwwwwww!!!!!!

This Times article isn't about the WORST behavior on planes, but it does point out some general rules of civility.

Kevin Maher: To ‘hair-blockers’ and the man who reclined into my lap: flying has rules

Don’t you just hate it when you’re sitting down to start your holiday flight, and you’ve fastened everything and stowed everything, then suddenly, flump! It happens! A rich thick curtain of human hair comes tumbling over the seat in front of you and cascades on to your in-flight entertainment.

This, apparently, is a thing. It gained traction last week when an Australian flyer posted a picture on social media of a passenger with straggly blond locks draped over the screen of the man behind her. This was followed by outraged online reactions (“Get scissors!” “Cut it all off!” “Crucify her!” etc) and another user posted a picture of a similar infraction (a brunette this time, fabulously well groomed). It also happened in March, on a flight to Boston, and again it provoked online outrage and mainstream media coverage.

Yet, endemic though it may be, I’m not convinced that “hair-blocking” is a real breach of in-flight etiquette. All it requires to rectify is a shoulder tap and a polite acknowledgment of the needs of both passengers (“Your hair is all over my screen, you selfish berk! How could you not know that?”).

The real breaches, however, and the ones that nuke any journey, are those that occur, infuriatingly, within the rules. I’m talking about economy-class reclining. Also known as: “Bang, there go my laptop, my drinks and my food! Plus, I’m now literally trapped with nothing to stare at but the eczema on your scalp!’’

I had that exact experience on a flight to Berlin earlier this year. I think the guy must have loosened an extra bolt in the seat base, because he was effectively in my lap. I could see up his nose while he slept.

I didn’t say anything (although I did take a picture for social media — you kind of have to, nowadays) because it was within the rules. And I’m a rules person. Especially when you’re hurtling through the troposphere at 500mph in a fragile metal tube with 300 strangers.

Then there’s feet, of course. Nothing in the rule book about taking off your shoes. In fact it’s positively encouraged (flex your toes, use the muscles, avoid deep-vein thrombosis etc). But they should prohibit doing this with smelly feet. Or at least they should have a sniffer dog at the departure gate who weeds out the real stinkers (trust me, you don’t want to sit beside a big sporty teenager with size 12 cheese machines pumping away beneath the seat). Economy-class reclining is the real breach of in-flight etiquette.

The coat in the overhead locker is another one. A woman once asked me to be careful when putting my bag into the locker because her coat was up there (I wanted to say, “And, is it alive?”). And the armrests? Centre seat is supposed to have them both (to compensate for the lack of leg room), but I mostly just tuck my elbows in under my ribs, like some strange bird. I can’t deal with the conflict.

And strategic seat booking? Families who book four seats, leaving a fifth in between in the hope of snagging more space. Fine if it works, but if it doesn’t you must shuffle about for the stranger. Don’t make them join your family, and pass the biscuits, for seven agonising hours.

Ultimately, the central tenet of flying etiquette is obvious. Acting as if you’re kicking back in business class while sitting in economy is not cool, clever or fair. And even though it must be very satisfying to waltz past the big seats on the way to the exit while sneering, “See! I just saved myself two grand while annoying everyone around me!” it’s never too late to learn the golden rules. And they are? “Sit up straight, leave the shoes on and keep your hair to yourself.”